Just be what you feel
This week I have gone through a lot of different emotions, varying from sadness to deep happiness. And for the first time I have allowed every emotion to be around, good, bad, sad, happy, all got their place.
It transformed me.
I used to push the feelings of sadness and unhappiness away, and didn't allow myself to truly feel them.
Last Tuesday I felt neglected and betrayed. I decided to not put on a brave face and go do something to find other emotions. I just sat and witnessed the emotion. I witnessed what it did to me (emptiness in my heart, knot in my stomach, tears rolling down my cheeks). And then, after what seemed like a long time but was in reality only a couple of minutes, I smiled.
The feeling of neglect was gone and I felt my usual self again.
Yesterday I had a cry day. Pain, little sleep and some very hurtful situations in my life all gathered to make me cry.
Again, I took what I learned on Tuesday. I just sat, observed all those emotions, and eventually they just ebbed away. This took most of the day, as there was a lot of sadness still locked up in me.
This morning I stood up, and felt like a new woman. I feel like smiling all the time, feel happy, fuzzy, warm, loved.
All because I let my emotions do what they needed to do and then to leave me.
How can you do that too?
It is hard to comprehend this when you are doing your best to fight all the things that you feel. Fear, anxiety, mistrust, anger, sadness, pain... Here is in a bit more detail what I did.
Step 1.
I fought my initial instinct to just straighten my shoulders and move on. This is another word for pushing your feelings away. I really let the tears flow and I really threw that pillow through the living room.
Step 2.
Accept that you feel this way. You with all that perfection you want for yourself. You feel this, actually feel this. Watch what the emotion does to your body. Can you still speak with your normal voice? Does your stomach clench? Write all these responses down if you want to study your emotions in greater detail later.
Step 3.
Focus on your belly button. Imagine that behind your belly button is a pond. A huge pond, stretching out in front of your eyes. Look at the water in that pond, and watch what your emotions do to that water.
At this moment, the water in my pond is glistening in sunlight. Yesterday it was dark and it rained constantly.
Now just witness your pond. Don't focus on the emotions, just witness the pond and the water's movement.
That is how you will see the emotions leaving you. And this time you don't store them in a special vessel so you can feel extra crappy when you feel emotions pop up next time.
Please let me know how you fared with this!
